6 Phrases That Instantly Persuade People

6 Phrases That Instantly Persuade People

You probably like to think of yourself as a rational human being like when you have a decision to make, you take all the information you make
a pros and cons list and you add that up to make the best decision possible. But you’re a human being and the truth of human beings
is we are far more irrational than we’d like to admit. Oftentimes, our decisions come down to the smallest irrational things and oftentimes, that can be just a few words which is why in this video, I want to give you 6 phrases that you can use to turn the tide in your favor when you’re trying to persuade someone to do something that you might like. Now, this is not going to be a substitute for really developing a true persuasive strategy, it’s not a substitute for empathy but start adding these phrases into your vocabulary and I think you will be shocked with how quickly and how effective they are. So, the first one is when you’re coming up against a gatekeeper and the phrase is simply going to be — “Have you ever made an exception?” Now, I used to use this all the time when I would try to get into bars
and clubs after it was technically at capacity and it worked pretty well. I had a buddy who was going to a graduation ceremony. He had six family members and four tickets to get in and they were there and the guy clearly would have liked to have done something but it was against the rules so my friend said, “Have you ever made an exception?” and he said, “No, I’m sorry we can’t do that.” He said, “Would it be possible to just make one exception this time?” and the guy looked around and said, “Okay, go ahead. You get in there.” This one is most effective when you have a gatekeeper that is just doing their job. They’re not staunchly against you getting in; there trying to follow the rules. But the idea of making one little exception, even I’m thinking back to
a time where they did and going, “Okay, that wasn’t such a big deal,” that can often tip them over to the edge to just showing you in. So that’s the first one. The second one is for when someone has really dug in their feet against you — they do not want to be persuaded, they do not agree with you,
you’re coming out of left field and they’re not into it. And I found myself using this one recently with my family. I wanted my brother to go to this personal development seminar but it’s long; it’s three and a half days and it’s about 12 hours a day. It’s really intense; there’s a ton of reasons not to go. So he was dug in; he did not want to go. And I remember saying to him, “Henry, if I were in your
position, I got to be honest, I’d feel the same exact way.” And he looked at me and I followed up with all the reasons that I’d feel and I said, “Look, I get it — it’s a ton of time, you don’t know if it’s
gonna be valuable, it seems like a crazy cult… I get it.” All of that said and then I proceeded to give
him my reasons that I thought he should go. When you say, “If I was in your position, I’d feel the
same exact way,” you are validating that person. You’re saying, “You’re not wrong; you just might not
be seeing something from a different perspective.” If you try to jump into someone who is staunchly against
you with your side, they’re just gonna dig in deeper. But when you take their side, you say, “You’re actually right,” that sort of gets them to loosen up and then they become a little bit more open to change. And in my brother’s case, he did wind up going to the program. It was
really great, he’s happy he did it, I’m happy he did — it all worked out. So the third one — you can use this; this one is amazing for interviews and I thought about not including it because I don’t want to flood the market. It is incredibly powerful. Use it sooner because I am gonna say it — apparently, a lot of people will see this and hopefully use this but you use this one towards the end of an interview when they’re asking you if you have any questions for them and it’s kind of a long one it goes something like this — “Obviously, I’d love to get this job but when you’re thinking down the line whether
you hire me or whether you hire someone else, how will you know a year from now whether or not you made the right choice? What will that
person had to have done to have been an excellent hire?” I’ve gotten many, many messages from clients
who have said, “First off, the employer loved it.” They were so happy to hear that you took the initiative to find out what it takes to be good in this role but second, when they start reciting to you what a fantastic employee looks like, they’re looking at you and if you say it the way I said it, they’re imagining
having hired you and having had you been this person. When that is in their imagination and they go back to think of who are we going to
hire, they’ve already spent time thinking of having you being an incredible employee. This one is so powerful — so valuable — obviously, you still need to be qualified, but if you get to this point, it can really push you over the edge so use it. The fourth one — this one you can use and add
it to any of these to make it more powerful and it can seem ham-fisted and clumsy but it’s simply just adding the person’s name When you hear your name, you perk up, your
attention is instantly called in that direction and somewhere, it implies that that person knows you like there’s a connection there. The weird thing is, today, we often have times where there’s a
gatekeeper that has a name tag so remember, at bars or clubs we’re trying to get in, the guy would have a nametag; we’d learn his name earlier
or read his nametag and say, “How’s things going in there tonight, John?” and he’d look at us and be like, “Do I know these guys?
I’m not really sure,” so he said, “Uh, it’s good.” And so when it came time to ask, “Could we go in?” he was much more amenable and if it came down to that final question, “Have you
ever made an exception, John?” he felt like he knew us and that made it even more likely that we could get in that night. Again, you can use this not just at a bar or a club, you can use this
all over the place to make any sort of ask much more powerful. The fifth one — this is a sales tactic and it’s called the Yes Ladder. If you’ve ever been called up by your University when they’re asking for money, you know that they don’t just pick up the phone and go,
“Hey, would you like to donate a hundred dollars today?” That would be crazy. They start off by putting you on a Yes Ladder. They say, “Is this the correct address that we can reach you at?
How is this phone number?” something, something, something. They try to get you answering yes to easy questions
before they hit you with the big ask for money. Now, the time that I tend to use this the most in my life and that I recommend that people use it is when they’re asking someone on a date. You don’t want to just jump into, “Hey, can I have your phone number?
Can we go out Wednesday night 8:00 p.m.?” Rather, it’s better to walk them up a Yes Ladder and so since I like salsa dancing, the one that I tend to ask women when I’m asking them
on a date is say, “Have you ever heard of salsa dancing?” Now, just about everyone’s heard of salsa dancing so, “Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” I said, “Does it seem like something that you think you would like?” They’ll think about it and go, “Yeah, I like dancing. Yeah, absolutely.” I say, “Okay. Would you like to go with me sometime?” Again, easy. They’ll go, “Sometime? Sure. Yeah, I’d like to go sometime.” I say, “Perfect. Why don’t you give me your number? This Wednesday at 8:00 p.m.
there’s a class and afterwards, there’s open dancing. We can go do that.” It’s only after three questions that I say the specific ask and it just seems so natural at that point. If I were to jump in, sure, they might give me their phone number or they sign up but that instantly engages this okay-this-is-kind-of-a-big-ask simply by walking people off the Yes Ladder, it feels much more smooth and natural so use that one. And then of course, the sixth one. This one you’re going to want to use pretty much everywhere; it comes from Robert Chiellini. It’s so simple. I thought about not including it but any list of persuasive phrases would not be complete without it and it’s the word because. When we hear the word because, we assume that whatever comes after because must be justifying what came before it and I remember the first time that I used this; I just read it in the book and I was in college. And me and my buddies had this tiny couch where we’d watch South Park and oftentimes, what would happen is three of us could
fit on the couch, four could fit kind of in a squeeze, but typically, the last person in would have to sit in this lousy chair. So I came in late one night and they were all started to sit and I said, “You know what? I’m gonna try this because-thing out,” and I said to my buddy, “Hey, Andrew. Could you slide over because I’d like to sit on the couch?” Now normally, the answer would be, “No, get on that chair,” but I remember he didn’t even blink and he said, “Sure,” slid over,
everyone’s crunched together and there I was sitting on the couch. Now, was it the most comfortable? No. But it felt cool
to know that the power of because was on my side. So those are six phrases that you can employ today into your speech that will make you instantly more persuasive. This is not a substitute for truly understanding human psychology, or for developing empathy but it’s surprising just how
adding these can can really make a huge impact immediately. So I hope that you like these. If you did, make sure to subscribe to the channel. If you’ve not yet done so, we have videos every Monday and Thursday to teach you how to be your most charismatic and confident self and if you’re already subscribed, you might want to hit the notification bell because I realized that YouTube is not always notifying people of new uploads and if you definitely want to hear of it, that’s
the way; subscribe just doesn’t do it anymore. So I hope that you enjoyed this video. If there’s any suggestions,
let me know in the comments and I will see you in the next one.

100 thoughts on “6 Phrases That Instantly Persuade People

  1. He used his own concepts at the end to put notifications on, what genius cus it shows how it works and gets u to hit the bell

  2. Bet that self help seminar was the Landmark forum. Started by a former Scientologist, using their brainwashing techniques.

  3. Thank you so much this video was extremely helpful if it wasn't for your video I probably wouldn't have my violin now

  4. Try convincing your wife rather than the gatekeeper ! Have you ever made an exception ? Yes , you !
    Here's how I see the yes ladder working on your wife especially when you don't want to do the dishes .
    Shall we go out for dinner ? Yes
    Would you like to try this new place ? Yes
    Would you like a drink ? Yes , the chateau …. rothschild 1981
    You look at the price and go – oh no I'm sorry I tried the yes ladder !

  5. When you jump in, EVERYONE gives you their phone number, you perfect, flawless human specimen. (Great videos, thanks)

  6. If someone ever used read my nametag and asked me a friendly question using my name, my first thought was always, "How dare you use my slave name, I hate you."


  8. Your story with "because" might have persuaded your friend, because it probably made you seem serious or even desperate to sit on that couch. He might have thought that you had a bad day or something.

  9. "The Power of Because"… Compels You…Yes and Because this comment compelled me to remember the scariest movie
    ever, The Exorcist….Charisma on Command, I will remember this lesson and maybe as well as I remember every line in that movie
    Because Linda Blair knew how to Make A Killer First Impression.
    Great video content and Because you are a creative content producer, I Thank You.

  10. What was the personal development thing you took your brother too… And was there koolaid included

  11. Just the fact that you'd try to drag your brother into a 36 hr goddamn seminar tells me you're a professional charlatan.

  12. Brilliant video! "If I were in your position, I would feel the exact same way". That is a very powerful line that makes an individual feel heard and understood.

  13. serious question, do these have to be to the letter(in terms of word composition) or is it ok to be less formal in social situations?

  14. At the end of our argument, I ask her, a year from now, whether you married me or some other guy, how do you know if you’ve made the right choice? Phew, dodged that bullet.

  15. OMG… Please don't use the phrase in writing or spoken word "if i was in your position I would feel the same way." There is a better than 50% chance you will wind that person up if you are using it to address someone's negative feelings. There are likely many situations where it works. However, often one person is actually and obviously in a FAR better position. Alternatively, there is a perception or sensitivity to differences in positions. This ends up sounding SUPER condescending. I remember someone said it to me, and I struggled not to flip out and I've also watched others noticeably seething in anger when someone more successful and senior said it to them. I even wondered where they got the idea to say it. They are typically fairly empathetic. The point you're making is great, as relates to demonstrating empathy. But that particular phrase "if i were your in your position", as a means of resolving conflict or dealing with negative interactions, highlights the fact that you are not in their position (i.e. the negative place that started the conversation).

  16. Totally separately, I do love your videos and what you're trying to do. This is actually the first time I disagreed with your many videos of great advice.

  17. Notice how he just explained the "Because" thing, then turns around and uses it on us?…."and if you're already subscribed, check the notifications BECAUSE I REALISED, you tube isn't notifying everybody" ……. sneaky, sneaky.

  18. Some of these I knew, some of them I just learned!
    Thanks for your channel man! This is great information, and I'm glad I'm subscribed!
    Charisma Level : (+++)

  19. " After hiring me or someone else, how will you know you made the right choice? " – OMG I regret not knowing this one for a recent job interview!

  20. I just used two of the tips in this video to hopefully get my friend to watch the video and help him in his next interview.😊

  21. Interesting and useful phrases!
    I use #2 a lot and it’s really effective – putting yourself in the position of the other person and agreeing with them so you can persuade them.
    Also, the “Yes ladder” is fun and it really works well!

  22. Man, where did you learn to use your body language and facial expressions so well to communicate?!?!? It's something I've noticed in all of your videos and is really engaging.

  23. sitting in exam hall looking at the ceiling
    Examiner: “why are you not writing anything ?”
    Me: “I can't because I haven't studied nothing”
    Me: gets a 100

  24. Because because is so important I made a list of translations:
    Parce que
    Потому что

  25. Dr. Beirne. 'If you must play games, play this one…make them glad they met you'..
    From his seminal book,
    'The Games People Play' 1962.

  26. cool video, as a physical therapist I have to pursuade patients to be more motivated to work on themselves all the time and I'm happy to say I use all of these tactics (except the job interview one of course) This gave me confirmation why I'm more successful than my co workers at that.

  27. All the great advice aside, I wish I’d get asked out on a date to salsa dancing. Seems like such a fun idea. I’d be more likely to say yes to that, than to being asked out to a bar or a restaurant.

  28. Hi,

    I love the interview phrase tip! Thank you 😊

    If it not to much to ask, may you watch my first video that I uploaded and provide me feedbacks.

    Thank you 😊

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